Your Family Might Be Airborne if…….

  1. Your dog’s name is Ranger, Geronimo, or Leg
  2. You have pull-up bars outside the kitchen door
  3. Your daughters’ first haircut was a High 'n Tight
  4. Your newborn’s first words were “All OK Jump Master”
  5. Your kids must attend Jump School before the 9th grade
  6. Your wife says “Slip Away” when you climb into the sack
  7. Your kids practice Parachute Landing Falls off their bunk beds
  8. Your kids call Jodie cadence on the way to the bus stop
  9. Your kids shout “Stand By” as the school bus approaches
  10. Your kids are suspended for calling the principal a "F-ing Nasty Leg"
  11. You call your in-laws the “slice elements”
  12. All your possessions are military issue
  13. Your kids call the sandbox “National Training Center”
  14. Your kids pull fire-guard
  15. Your wife’s favorite shades of lipstick are light green and loam
  16. You go to a BBQ and insist that your family feed tactically
  17. Your children clear housing before they go to college
  18. Your POV is equipped with black-out lights
  19. Your kids call their mother “Household Six”
  20. You volunteer to pull air-guard on the school bus
  21. Your doorbell sounds off with the challenge and password
  22. Your house has sector sketches posted on every window
  23. You give the command “Fix Bayonets” at Thanksgiving Dinner
  24. Your kids show their meal cards at the kitchen door, except the oldest, who’s on separate rations
  25. You make your daughter sign out on pass during Prom night
  26. Your kindergartner calls recess, “smoke break”
  27. You refer to your spouse affectionately as “The Spousal Unit” or “Whiskey Element”
  28. You do your back-to-school shopping at an Army Surplus store
  29. Your low quarters are part of your Sunday go-to-meetings suit
  30. Your wife conducts an After Action Review (AAR) hot-wash after sex
  31. Your wife “takes a knee” in long checkout lines at the Wal-mart
  32. Your kids call the tooth fairy  “Slicky Boy”
  33. Your son fails the 3rd grade, but tells everyone that he was a “Phase 3 Recycle”
  34. Your kids salute their grandparents
  35. Your kids receive a Leave and Earnings Statement (LES) for their allowance
  36. Your grandmother placed 1st place during “All American Week”
  37. Your kids have names that start with AR, FM, TM or DA
  38. Your name is stenciled on the windshield of your pick-up truck
  39. Your kids sign for their linen
  40. You refer to your children returning from school each day as “ex-filtration”
  41. Your wife has Mermite containers in the china cabinet
  42. Your wife left you and you held a Change of Command ceremony
  43. You “Troop The Line” during a family reunion
  44. Your kids refer to a sleep-over as “Bivouac”
  45. Your kids mark “Rally Points” during hide and seek
  46. Your kids “pop smoke” on the 4th of July
  47. Your kids refer to their toy box as a Footlocker
  48. Your kids call you the “Finance Officer” on weekends
  49. Your kids refer to the play ground as a “Target Rich Environment”
  50. Your kids refer to their homework as a “Block of Instruction”
  51. For Christmas, your kids receive care packages from the Red Cross or cards addressed to “any soldier”
  52. Your kids art work includes 100-mile-an-hour tape
  53. Your kids call the school play a “Pass In Review”
  54. Your kids submit book reports on “Gun & Knife” or “Soldier of Fortune”
  55. You treat your kids to the movies after “7-days Accident Free”
  56. Your kids learn the ABC’s phonetically- Alpha, Bravo, Charlie”
  57. Your kids perform PMCS, then dispatch their bicycles
  58. Your kids conduct “Drown Proofing” on the neighbors cat
  59. You conduct a “Stand-Down” safety inspection after an accident involving your kids’ toys
  60. Your kids take spent ammo casings to show and tell
  61. Your kids prefer MRE’s over school lunches
  62. Your kids salute the American flag as they enter school
  63. Your kids are issued one dog tag each, for their right shoe